My Story

On today's episode of screaming into the void: That's Not My Story.

Mama and I enjoyed a long walk today and shared our feelings on the day's happenings. And we came upon the subject of our stories and what we base ourselves on.

Getting aggravated with people who use their past or present struggles as a way to gain pity/love/attention. And realizing that sitting there listening to them talk about their horrible experience (for the tenth time), I suddenly feel the urge to stop them. To slap them and tell them that even though I (or most people for that matter) dont talk about our issues, they're there. And they are big in our lives even if we don't tell every single soul we meet and use it as our Instagram bio.

I'm tired of hearing about your problems already. I'm struggling to keep it together as it is.

I'm not tired of hearing about peoples problems...I'm tired of hearing people expertly manipulate a conversation into talking about THEIR problems...and THEIR problems only. Like they are some kind of saint just because they've gone through something tough.

I'm sorry, even though it seems like I haven't gone through crap...it's only because I don't talk about it.

Why?

That's not my story.

My story right now is trying to get my anger under control. Trying not to be bitter. Trying not to get an attitude towards somebody who is genuinely struggling. 

It's being stuck at home during this pandemic and trying to get along with the family. 

It's crying because my whole world feels like it's crumbling.

But it's also trusting that the Lord will bring us out of it in one piece.

My story is one day at a time. Knowing that whatever tomorrow brings...the Lord knows I can handle it.